Part III: Or, the Man in Yellow


The Mysterious Man in Yellow Raises the Stakes
The Mysterious Man in Yellow Raises the Stakes



Welcome to Part III.

Bitch Hill now past me, I focus on each major hill as a possible end point, a quitting point. Wrap me in dark wool blankets and let the snowmobiles take me away. Only once I get to the rest area, I eat a bit more banana, have a gu, and drink a bunch of warm lemonade. Then voilà, I am ready to think about making it to the next place where I might want to quit.


I tend to focus on the up hill struggles. Yes, I thought there were going to be 8 major climbs and then things will plane-out and get nearly flat after Telemark Hill. Wrong you knucklehead! There are 8 rest stations that happen to be located at the top of particularly big hills. Did I tell you, dear reader, that there are 38 minor climbs in amongst the 8 major climbs? This image does not do justice to the idea or reality of “vertical”:




Trail Elevation for the Birkebeiner
Trail Elevation for the Birkebeiner



As you can see, the trail looks very hilly in the first half and gradually downhill during the second half. This graphic is a lie. So, to the person who told me that the hills are “over” after the halfway mark: inaccurate balderdash! And to the people who say that “OO” is the halfway mark: more inaccurate horse-pucky! The astute reader will know that “OO” is at 22.8 km. Simple math reveals that 27.2 km still remain. Complex math reveals that you still have 4.4 km to go before you are really at the halfway mark. Using even more complex math, that is like an 8.8% difference!

………………… Do you like what you are reading? Then read on, dear readers.

SORRY READERS!  I have taken down the rest of this entry because I am expanding the Birkie story and sending it out to small presses for publication. Let me know if you are interesting in a copy of such a book:


3 Comments on “Part III: Or, the Man in Yellow

  1. Is this skiing to keep in shape for the bike season? That time of year when arrogant bikers threaten the lives of humble car drivers by veering haphazardly into roads and refusing to use sidewalks and bike lanes?

    • Nice to hear from you Terry. I get the sense that you suffer from bike repression. To alleviate your distress, I suggest that you buy two bikes (a specialized and a Bianchi) and call me in the morning.

      Pax and ski wax,


  2. Pingback: Jason McCartney: Pro Bike Racer and Maybe Pro Skier (Someday) « Scraps: Street Theorist

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